Man I wish physics made any sort of sense to me, particularly electronics. Can't figure out why you have to divide by i, so it's all over my head.

Man dude is so passed out he's sideways.

How the fuck would a 9 volt taser do anything to you more than tingle? I put 9 volt batteries against my tongue to test them and it never causes a79adshlg a suyo shtui asdhf ab ab any a jl;ksg a r ao ptobn a aflkj pt tpp no po pt pronlrbnp problems.

Justice for dinner! And I don't mean French hipster techno.

I'm beyond that diagonal splicing dude, I'm using advanced techniques... the bezel, the dove-eye, the sprocket.

Yeah but the crowd there by no means represents every gay person, particularly not most of my homosexual friends. I can't see anybody I know going for nasty beefcake dudes like that, and can't understand why anybody would find that appealing. It's like a gigantic Tom of Finland picture, it's sort of funny but nobody actually gets off on it... I think?

And what's with those people who give you dirty looks for your sexuality, whether you're straight or gay? The fags giving you dirty looks probably got their fair share of them but it doesn't mean they're justified. Like it's somehow ok for me to get sexually harassed or to get judged for being straight? Fuck those types. Hypocrites.

Anyways I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this, it's designed for people with a lot of money and some sort of bizarre cultish obsession with uniformity. To have a party where everyone dresses in white first of all seems pretty gross to me, because I can't stand white clothing, but to top it off with this weird competitive display of flesh and physique just makes it into the least appealing idea in the world for me. I strongly dislike going to places where this bizarre sort of koinophilic (look it up) fetishism takes place on this massive a scale. And I've had a morbid fear of exercise equipment since high school... why would anybody bore themselves to death doing the same motion over and over if they're not even getting paid for it?

Aha, I'm off to rob banks with my new iTaser!

It's gross, those guys in the photo look like overcooked sausages. Maybe that's the point. Meat market.

I just noticed that the only reason this topic came back up was because it got dragged back out of the annuls (ppppfffft... sorry, can't believe i typed that word pfffft hahaha). Like other things that get dragged out of your annuls, it's sort of old and crusty. Like the cat probably is by now.

Still, GIVE DEE THE FUCKING CAT. I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT'S BEEN. EVEN IF YOU LIKE HIM NOW, JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED.

Pretty amazing, huh?

Dude, that's a pretty awesome dream. You need to get yourself some Abelcain records.

Lepage glue. Works like a charm.

Where's the baby kicking one?

I suppose that laptops are pretty gauche, I'll be sure to pull out the reels of tape for the next show.

OIC

Well I agree, a new name is in order, but I mean, what would it be? They started calling it "live PA" long ago but I think they were talking about people carting out a bunch of samplers and synths and running them through a mixer. It's definitely very live to do something like that, but when you consider that most electronic music takes advantage of multi-tracking, when you do electronic music live you have to scale it down. You can't play all your synth lines and acid lines live, it just wouldn't work. No human has the timing for it, except perhaps Tom Jenkinson (Squarepusher), but even he's got a bunch of stuff sequenced. Usually if you want to play a few instruments live you have to take those elements out of your backing tracks, but it would never suffice to resort to replacing all of your sequenced elements with live instrumentation. You would need to get about 12 people, and they'd all need to be really tight, plus you'd need to find a V-Drums kit and those aren't cheap. Well actually none of that is cheap.

Maybe you'd be reassured to know that my band is working on approaches to live drum and bass, using two synths, a bass, a guitar, and a proper drum kit, as well as a trigger finger to play Amen samples, with Ableton for loops and MIDI. It's fucking tricky but we're figuring it out rather well. We played on the weekend but we really need to practice more, and I would hope that by the next time we do this live act we're tight as hell and pulling it off. We're called LLLCoolJ... soon to be notorious...

GIVE DEE THE CAT.

It's the classic Bugblatter Beast of Traal trick. You wrap a towel around your head so you can't see it, and the Bugblatter Beast, being extremely stupid, luckily, since it is also extremely dangerous, runs on the logic that if you can't see it, it can't see you, and will be unable to detect you even if you are sitting on its nose poking at it with a stick.

This is a 28-dollar advanced towel. You wrap it around your head and everybody thinks they can't see you. Reverse Emperor's New Robes.

Ok sorry, I take it back. I have a pretty bad fever, it's taking me like nothing to get up in people's grills. I also think I knew that you're writing your own grime stuff, so I kinda made no sense there. So whatever... good debate nonetheless.

If the word "live" means that you're consistently doing something then DJ's are also live, as far as I'm concerned, but the difference I guess is whether or not you're playing your own music. If you are, I'd have to say the difference comes down to whether you're just playing full tracks in MP3 or WAV format or like Screwhead said reconstructing your tracks on the spot. You can usually tell the difference when somebody has a real performance going on rather than just pressing play and occasionally looking busy. I've tried to fake it a few times with tracks that I lost the original files to, just because I wanted to play them, but I got pretty bored every time because I could no longer play with different sections of the tracks. Sometimes people on laptops are just using Traktor as well.

So I'd say that if you want to call it a live set, you actually have to be fairly lively while doing it. Forgive me for getting all aggro.

Typical MC. All talk. You have no idea what you're talking about though, do you? What do you use when you perform? Like the minute somebody feels like mixing loops off a computer it's not live? It's totally live, you can't just let the thing play, it doesn't work that way. And there's no shame in triggering samples off a drum pad or keyboard, it's just as much of an instrument as any other. I play guitar and keys as well as doing a fair amount of production work with Ableton and I'd like you to tell me in what way this is some sort of easy cop-out. I've heard enough idiots say that laptop sets are all just pushing buttons, but really, how is that different than playing the keys on a keyboard, or pushing the levers on a clarinet, or putting your fingers at the right place on the fretboard? It might not seem like laptop live PA's are doing anything but that's because it's all contained in the computer. So blame the designers of these computers for making things ultra compact. Maybe you'd be happier if everyone who did a live set wore a special hat or something and jumped up and down going "Hey look at me!". Fucking bullshit man. You're hating on the people who write the music by dissing Ableton Live.

Ah shut up, I'm in the middle of trying to modify the damn message and no matter what I do I either get no image or the fucking border=0 shit... how the fuck do you post images using the number system? Anybody care to tell me why it never works?



Oh and btw you should talk about rave police, you're totally the [ rave.ca ] police... how is it that you noticed my failed attempt at a post in the 5 minutes that I was doing it?

It's all this:



Does that look like a crowd you want to hang around?

Why didn't you add pin:ksox? Site's too weird? That's the breakcore crew from Toronto, and their events are one of my biggest inspirations.

Do you have to be naked for it to work? How do you make your clothing invisible? Plus this whole section is solid gold:

NO mumbo-jumbo or hocus pocus (of course not)
NO spells or potions (thank god I hate those)
NO burning candles or magic wands (good so it's not some pagan crap)
NO alchemy or hidden symbols (aw too bad)
NO hype or Bull. You get exactly what you need (seems to be an awful lot of hype on this page, eh?)
NO danger. You can't be hurt in any way (Unless somebody doesn't see you crossing the street and you become an invisible corpse)
NO disappointment. You get just what we promise (except of course, what we promise)
No astral 'trips' to other worlds or dimensions. You walk the earth (BOOOO! I don't want to walk the Earth! I wanna trip balls!)
No trouble. You're either visible or invisible as you need & desire (Just with a snap of your fingers I imagine)

And then this at the bottom, in the whole "The Wizard's Book of Animal Secrets":

o How to command flocks of birds wherever you go (Go South! Don't go South!)
o Controlling snakes, bees, gnats, houseflies (I CONTROL THE BEES! THE BEES!)
o Teaching your dog to walk & dance on stilts (Which is of course really fair to your dog)
o Commanding your cat to use the bathroom toilet (That would just be disturbing, you open the door and your cat hisses at you, he's taking a number 2)
o Quickly tame wild horses when others have failed (Psst... horsie... *whisper whisper*)
o The quiet world of frogs & toads (Well put.)
o Keeping a squirrel in your pocket (Like in jail!)
o Bringing dead creatures BACK TO LIFE! (Snuckles! You're back! OH GOD NO! YOU'RE EATING MY BRAIN! YOU'RE EATING MY BRAIN!)
o Much more!

Amazing. I need to see what this is. Totally ridiculous.

It's nice to get a finger up your bum, pushes back the hemorrhoids.

Toronto is not a dangerous place, that's why. It has a stupid reputation because of some shit that goes down mostly in the suburbs. Regent Park and Jane/Finch are dangerous, but the city on the whole is so gentrified is relatively "safe". That is, if you have a steady job, a car, privilege. Street people are always at risk there however.

Newmarket is far worse though, I'm not sure why it doesn't rank, but if you average the entire GTA rather than the regions on their own, the crime rate logically goes down.

I'm raving so hard right now.

Northtek, July 12th. Stay tuned, or look it up here: [ www.northtek.net ]

Pfffffftt... LOL... hahahahaha... that kinda backfired eh Craig?

Serato seems to only work if it's a permanent fixture, because you have to test that it's working first. Every time I've seen people unplugging shit and installing the Serato box it's taken forever and half the dance floor thinks about leaving. Most places aren't equipped with a four channel mixer either. Plus I've noticed when friends have used Serato that there are a lot of stupid mistakes that happen frequently if there's dirt on the vinyl, and silences. Like people will be in the middle of the set and then the track just stops playing. Why even spin MP3s? The sound quality on most of them is garbage. I have a hell of a time finding tracks at a high enough bitrate.

So I don't know if we have to refer to PLUR or anything, for me it brings to mind furries and rave sludge, but I'm waking up out of a day-long fever of 42ºC (I got very sick after crashing on Saturday night) to discover more photos then I've ever seen for a party, happy people awaiting our next move, and generally the most positive reaction I've ever gotten for a party. The attendance was an all time record, 50% of you got drunk out of your skulls thanks to a steady beer supply, and everybody was dancing blissfully all night and day.

But yeah, I really hope nobody else has a super intense, visions-from-hell, delusional rambling, breathing fire fever combined with severe muscle pain, because last night I thought I was dead for sure. I even got into a panic thinking that this was my first and last good party. So I'm very happy to still be alive and to read all these good reviews. I just really wish that I could move my legs so I could get some Advil or Aspirin. If anybody wants to fly down here like a painkiller fairy, you will be well received. Codeine, Demoral, Oxycontin, hey why not, Heroin... I'd do it right now. God hates me for my partying ways or something.

So I would like to officially thank Courtney for providing the excellent Danish mixer and turntables, we couldn't have done it without you! Thanks also go out to every one of the DJs, except the belligerent one (not important who), and all the amazing party people who made it out to this event. Now if anyone has anything better than this yacht-mop I bought, mainly because, well, it said "yacht" on the package, that would be stellar.

Oh and very importantly, let me hear some noise for Mikael and Mathieu, the other two Ls in Triple L Cool J! Mikael was the one responsible for getting the sub and the speakers are his! Mathieu and him split on the beer costs, and I know you guys enjoyed it! So let's give some credit where credit is deserved, I designed the flyer and booked a few of you, but I wasn't the guy on accounting... but I do still appreciate the ego boost, and it's cool that you guys think I'm the boss. I am the tallest, so it kind of makes sense.

Now that we've proven that this place works amazingly well for parties, do you think you could bury the hatchet? I say more power to Mark for ignoring all your disses. Where's your loft? OH! You don't have one! Jealous eh?

I've heard the expression "lick wood" before, so I'd go with that one. It means what Liam said, to bang on tables and walls etc - lick being like hit. And I think it's "lick wood means rewind, a gunshot means forward" as in rap the tables or do the bullit with your fingers.

Lineup, finally... sorry, but we've all been dreading the day we had to post the lineup because we figured it would lead to a lot of complaints... well... here it is...

10 - Etch a Sketch
11 - Pleckobwoy
12 - SourUltraFast
1 - Blake Market
2 - Fishead
3 - LLLCoolJ
3:30 - Golgo13 & Galaks'
(Inity 3 after)
5 - Recoil
6 - DbVaig
7 - Bass-Ic
8 - JahStyle

Hope that appeals to everyone. Sorry if it doesn't, contact me I guess.

Ah but I just read something backing up liquid... don't know which one it is.

And, too (people actually start sentences with that), [ www.rolldabeats.com ]

Ok fair enough, but I still say Tortoise is a great band, and really, if you were born into a family of drummers, well, drum then! Show me something of yours that tops this group because I'd love to hear it!

Random link selection:
[ www.pinksox.ca ]
[ www.ardkor.com ]
[ www.atwwtkp.org ]
[ www.tripproject.ca ]
[ www.tribemagazine.com ]

And most importantly...
[ www.northtek.net ]

Jerk off all day long, and then on the like 54th time, jump off the box so that the noose tightens!

They call it the Hutchence!

I need that Dildo Gas Mask. That would be the best Teknival costume ever.

Probably when scooters are no longer gay... muahahaha

I want a tattoo too. Does anyone know anyone who can tattoo a butt with a tattoo of a butt on it on my butt? I always thought that would kick ass.

It's too bad you can't do anything like this with Macs.