PARENTS DON'T OWE SON A CAR

DEAR ANN: My 17-year-old son, "Jordan," is a casual pot smoker and
has no intention of stopping. My husband and I refuse to let him drive
our car alone until he tests drug-free for three months in a row. We
also told him he has to get his grades up enough to qualify for a
"good student" discount so we don't have to pay such high insurance
premiums. He is smart enough to keep a B average but doesn't bother.

Jordan insists he would never drive while under the influence, but I
can't be sure. He wants us to buy him a car, and I have to admit, it
would relieve us of a huge burden. Any time he needs to drive
somewhere, either his father or I have to accompany him.

My husband and I don't want to be the bad guys in this relationship,
but Jordan is so insistent on having a car that it is creating
problems at home. What do you think?

Mom in Denver

DEAR DENVER: In your effort not to be "the bad guy," you are
allowing Jordan to change the rules in your house. You are wise not to
allow him to drive under the influence, but it isn't enough. You are
his mother, not his buddy. You do not owe him a car. Jordan can get a
summer job and start saving his money. If you want to help him with
the purchase, fine, but tell him you will not do so until he is
drug-free and gets his grades up. Let him know that owning a car is a
privilege, not a right.