TALKING ABOUT DRUGS

Have you noticed the increasing number of anti-drug spots on TV lately,
particularly variations on the theme, "Don't waste an opportunity to talk
to your kids about drugs." While I readily applaud the overall theme
because I believe that education is the key to battling this problem, I
also feel it is my duty to speak up for weary parents everywhere.

We could all use a gentle reminder now and then, but I'm sort of offended
by the tone of these commercials. One spot shows a mom cheerfully gabbing
on the telephone while the kid sits sullenly, apparently resentful that
he's missing out on a lecture.

First of all, who writes this stuff? No normal kid sits quietly while his
mom talks on the phone. In the real world, that kid would be turning up the
volume on the stereo, and drumming on the table with old muddy tennis
shoes. Or drinking milk right out of the container to within a half-inch of
the bottom then absently placing it back in the fridge.

Second, they cast this poor mom as a vacuous if not negligent parent. All
because she's talking on the phone! It's not bad enough that we feel guilty
about not being able to carve a pumpkin like Martha Stewart, or cook
elaborate dinners from scratch every night or buy whole grain from the
health food store. Now we can't even take a few minutes to talk to a
friend? She's in the kitchen for Pete's sake! With her son (at least she
knows where he is). He's got a haircut. And he's wearing fairly appropriate
clothing. Give the poor woman a break!

Another spot shows a father eating breakfast silently with the teen again,
missing the lecture opportunity. Hello? He's eating with his kid. He's up,
he's there, and he's available. Every kid should be so lucky.

Are they suggesting that parents must always have an agenda? Should they,
at every opportunity, be on the lookout to push a point?

Frankly, I'm usually too busy trying to remember that I'm not supposed to
holler.

I'm busy folding their clothes, combing their hair, making out checks for
the book club, picking Legos out of my tender feet, toting them to the
library, and helping out with the never-ending course of school events.
And, get this folks: I've been known to occasionally talk on the telephone!
Cart me away!

I understand their point, but they're missing the obvious vehicle.
Everybody knows that it's better to talk to your kids about drugs while in
the car.

They can't get away, and you get to turn off their music.