I'm willing to believe that after the colossal failures of Zune 1.0 and Vista that they'll have overhauled their shit so that it's actually a worthwhile competitor to OS X (and really, why would it be so hard to be?). I would also love to find out if they actually decided that you can be a superuser without having to go through living hell to get root.

sudo kill all

Well.

I'm sure with all my jackass behaviour with the world it was about high time I got pranked.

I was so buzzed off my double espresso at work today I actually went to two restaurants in the area of mine to look for a parsley curler.

They did say "Fer pour frisér du persil" though, and well, I'm not quite French enough to get that right away. I didn't listen well, I just went and asked for some parsely thing, but eventually decided it was a prank and came back. Oh no, they said, it's over at Premiere Moisson. The thing was that I quickly realized that the managers of both places were convinced that they had it. They were even quite confused. Nobody in any of the places I went to laughed, except the girls at La Petite Italien, who thought I was looking for a hair straightener. They looked everywhere. But the important thing is, so did I.

Why was I visualizing a method for taking already curly parsley and either straightening it or curling it further? Did I really think I was looking for a butter curler that they just use to take a sprig and make it look even fancier on the plate? I've been doing this for years and this is the first time I've heard this prank, but boy do I feel stupid!

What do I do for revenge? I'm considering giving the plongeur a free creme brulée which will actually be mayo covered in caramelized sugar... but the sous-chef. Dude is old... how would I possibly get him back? Is it even worth it?

Jawohl mein herr. Only it's made by a dritte-partei company called Muschilütscher who uses a rather horrible forn-ende. It's called FICKPISSE DREI and it's fair to middling. Vielen glück!

I dunno man... I'm not ready to try 7 on bootcamp yet.

You looking for curators / possible places for vernissages?

Argh. This sounds like such a headache! For me the only real hangup was always making sure I had my S-Video cable handy (where is it now I ask myself?), but I do seem to remember how sketchy the TV rips were at times.

No it just means that your a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything.

Aber scheiße! Well it's made by the same folks who make Ableton so you will never crack it und we will mock you with regular updates and sample packs of possible text. Get the "skethcy raver wünderkind" kit, including phrases such as "the since is dieing" and "2 es and 1 speed" as well as the all time favourite, the -saucifier, which will automatically put the word "sauce" on the end of your wordsauce.

Oh shit, failure. Well you see, they're covered in sperm so how am I supposed to study?

No they work fucking amazingly. I'm working on the Apple II emu so I can play me some Wasteland.

Panacea is a fat piece of rubbish these days, and you should know that.

It's so nice outside I could just dangle from a tree all day, hanging out. The lynchpin for me is this sun. It sure is noose out.

I'm not anti-vegan! I just find that it's really easy to get vegans pissed off, so I tease.

The protein argument may be tenuous but the thing I really hated was the cost of organic and alternative ingredients. Let's not be trite here: nuts are expensive, so are goji berries, so is seitan, so are avocados most of the time. Especially organic. Maple syrup - expensive. Tempeh - expensive. Kombucha - expensive, and fucking gross honestly.

Then add to this a theoretical "labour cost" if you will. I work in restaurants for a living, as a mediocre and somewhat slow cook, but it's my "gagne-pain". To prepare alternative protein sources from scratch, you need a sterile (for tempeh especially) kitchen, lots of space to soak and sprout things, patience with all the ingredients involved, and the time to do everything. This is a labour cost that I for one could never afford. These days I do better, because I don't clock as many hours. But I honestly never have the interest in doing that much prep work after day after day of prep work. I eat coldcuts and cheese for dinner, like a European.

Where is that sort of convenience in a vegan diet? Typical answer: convenience is why the world is so lazy and irresponsible. True. But that's the way the system is set up. Speed, convenience, easy stuff fast. People take it for granted. But sometimes you need it, so you can relax.

I love hearing that there are people who are still able to be creative and make their own food from scratch, but you have to admit it's not an easy thing to do. More power to you and anyone else for doing so, but unless you're willing to sell what you've made to others you'll be hard pressed to convince them to drop convenience.

Like DK's album there: Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death.

This is true. I'm using RAVEWAVER PRO for Mac. It totally rules and can be yours for only three easy payments of $5.99. And it's made in Germany so you know it's quality.

Ok. Moins méchante c'est probablement mieux. Durkheim est brillant, et ce qu'il a écrit sur la suicide est tellement vrai. Mais je suis tanné des gens qui sont en fait assez brillant pour aller au delà de leur peine qui embarquent dans la fatalisme ou donc l'égoïsme. Faut que t'as du tough love pour ça, parce que sinon tu vas toujours répéter ce pattern faible.

I dunno, but I'm sensing a high level of butthurt on this thread.

Get over it, I spin wax too, when it suits me. Different gigs for different methods. I guess I'm going to have to go hit my friend's record lathe over the next while to prove that I don't play favourites on this.

Lynzyn, you're too easy to piss off. Go have a beer and walk it off. Srsly. Don't project your ignorance on me, I was very articulate.

J'ai pris tes menaces ben sérieux mais je trouve que c'est un truc manipulateur, et ben si aucun de vous a déjà eu d'expérience avec les gens qui l'ont fait, normalement il se cache bien avant que ça se passe, et personne veut les dire que c'est en fait un action égoïste en tabarnak. Ceux qui font ça font un move cheap pour sortir de leur souffrance. En menaçant de le faire pis en le faire c'est un action qui dit bien "moi je m'en caliss de vous autres, moi je trouve la vie dur, et vous autres vont souffrir". Et d'être fâché quand quelqu'un te met en place, bon, je vois que c'est bien marché, parce que tu voulait que tout le monde disait "pauvre 'ti chaton, qu'est ce qui ne va pas". Bon. Tu parles d'être fif pour en pas essayer? Le truc le plus "fif" tu peux faire, si on va parler comme des Serges ignorantes, c'est de te pendre. Ça envoye un message assez clair: je suis trop pussy pour battre contre l'adversité. Alors fait ce que tu veux, m'en calice. Mais les vrais hommes sont capable de dealer avec la réalité et leur souffrance sans faire un flake out de même.

Esti te tabarnak, voilà mes cours d'immersion française, couvertes de sperme.

Dom & Roland anyone? "Can't Punish Me" used to be my fucking DnB anthem.

I was also big on Total Science at one point but this of course is old skool.

Ceux qui disent qu'ils veulent se suicider dans un forum publique font que des ménaces en donnant signe qu'ils ne sont pas sauf pour eux-même ni l'autri. Tu menaces que si nous autres, les étrangers, ne font rien, ça va être notre faute. Alors si tu veux ainsi d'attention: DO IT FAGGOT!

Si non, tu fermes ta maudite gueule, arrête de te sacker tout le temps au point que t'es incoherent, et prends donc soin de toi comme du monde, en te rendre toi à l'Hôpital. J'ai pas de patience personellement pour les gens qui "Cry Wolf" pour avoir de la sympathie. C'est plate et c'est egoïste.

Si c'était pour de vrai tu n'écrivas rien.

T'en ben cave toé, l'gros.

Voici un ti'cadeau pour un con qui prétend d'être pirate d'espace.


ARRR! I BE HIJACKING YE FEEBLE THREAD! BLOW ME DOWN!

CA SUFFIT! Vous êtes les minables, tous les trois. Alors, rentrez a vos chambres et taisez-vous, ou vous ne pourriez pas ecouter Passe-Partout ce soir.

Je ne sais pas c'est quoi un "Pricess", mais je pense que notre petite Pricess faut mieux payer attention à l'école s'il veut son pudding chomeur après le diner.

Alors, les enfants. Je ne vous ai pas elevés de même. Coudonc.

THE BABE! IT DOTH SPEAKETH IN TONGUES!

QFT man. I just got a copy of OS 9 for the Mac and I had installed OS 6 on an emulator a while before that. Just so I could play Duane Blehm games (OMG I'm so obscure!).

Ah the plight of the beekeeper.

Just so you know, back when I was vegan I listened to psy too, I thought it was cool then. Then after a few years I realized that despite being so-called "psychedelic" music, that every transition was totally formulaic. This was counter-intuitive to all the talk about avoiding the Hive Mind, and I abandoned the scene, unable to deal with this critical logical failure and hypocrisy.

Veganism is not bad for your health.

I admit I, I was trolling. Trolling you.

I would personally love to work in a vegan restaurant. Easy to clean up, less waste, healthy food, and no ethical problems with the food served. Mostly. Depends what you think of soya's effect on the global ecosystem.

But I do not need to wave a freaking banner about it or insist that other people get with the program. Diet is a personal choice that should be decided based on what signals your body is giving you (and yes, there is a guide somewhere to what your food cravings are indicating you are lacking). As a vegan, I lacked protein, calcium and magnesium, as well as lecithin, and I have a very weak immune system already so this meant I was getting sick all the time. I had to bulk up and I had to make sure my nervous system and skeleto-muscular system were not in danger, and this meant reintegrating meat into my diet.

There are other ways. But really, it's more important to be ethical about your diet than to go against our naturally omnivorous digestive system, and to politicize the debate about whether or not we "need" meat and meat by-products.

Wow, Lynzyn, you're a fucking TOOL. First uv all stop typing leik u r on yr blackberry and spell a few words correctly, secondly, get off your vinyl high-horse because it's not like production and mixing are exactly the same boat. To top it off you say laptops are easier to steal. This is a definite noob assessment because I've lost a lot more vinyl than I've ever lost laptops to theft.

Sorry. But you posted over 9000 fucking asinine comments on your unqualified opinion about DJing. The 90s are over there, ten years ago. Get over the vinyl worship thing, everybody has them now, everybody loves them, everybody finally has a way to find out what's what in their electronic scene. The rarity that made early vinyl a hot commodity only still works with collectors of these rarities. Otherwise vinyl editions of drum and bass, techno, electro, any well-established rave-culture styles are available by mail-order so now your selection is the priority.

Get over this idea that laptops are easy to work with live. It's not just pushing buttons, and it's not automatic. It's extremely hard to do on the fly because of CPU lag on processing and the amount of fine tuning required for perfect synchronization, so yes, sometimes it's less flexible. And unfortunately the input devices on computers are a keyboard and a one-hand, one pointer mouse. This is something you can get around with devices like the Lemur or MIDI breakout boxes, but really, don't be "dence" [sic].

There is no magical sync button and even if there was it would be doing automatic beat detection which is an utter failure IMHO. It doesn't work that way. You actually have to beatmatch, even with that software. But you don't even have to, if you want to mix this is not the only way to do so. You also fail to consider experimental approaches. With vinyl you would have to have a hell of an internal metronome to be able to do any sort of additive meters in mixing, but since most people stick strictly to 4/4 for everything I guess this is a moot point.

If you want to learn how to use Ableton (that's how it's spelled btw, try to remember that before randomly slamming keys like a monkey), you might want to RTFM. Or do some tutorials. It's not a fucking toy.

The amount of work that goes into timestretching and granulization so that it is possible to beatmatch and stretch loops in this sort of program is colossal, but technology has not yet developed a musical ear. You can program stochastic musical work with a computer or synth but it will not have a groove, typically speaking, without the element of gesture added to it. Gesture is the key to good performance and is the so-called human element in music and in art in general. Tweaks, slides, scratches, effects, those are all gestures. And I sincerely hope you don't think that Ableton's effects are just there to flip on a filter sweep or phaser for a few bars. In that case you might want to give your Ableton license to someone who actually knows what to do with it.

Live 8 is a fucking hardcore professional DAW, and if you use it for mixing it's probably because you write your own tracks. How many times have you played your own stuff on vinyl? Never? Thought so. Because the thing you end up hating about your own vinyl is that you can't tweak individual tracks any more. It can make for a more fluid set but you have no room for improvisation or for variation.

When you've been DJing for a while you realize that vinyl is just a medium, and that it isn't necessarily more challenging or better per se than using a laptop with Serato or Traktor. It can be more fun, and it can be more impressive when you're showing off your crates, but it can be cumbersome to drag said crate, and the probability that you will damage vinyl or lose it is way higher than the probability that someone will take your rather-obvious laptop bag out the front door without anyone noticing. If you are not being paid enough for the gig to ensure these collections, why take the risk?

If you don't really know what you're talking about, please don't front. You make it look like there's a DJ camp and a laptop camp and the two are at war. Just face it. The future is here, there are no flying cars, we didn't get to Mars after all, and this is the compromise. Vinyl is phasing out because THERE'S NONE LEFT. It's like saying we should cook with Atlantic salmon only because it's what everybody else does. THE RESOURCES ARE DEPLETING.

These are all things you should think about and consider if you want to engage in lengthy discussions containing value judgments on technology. You could merit from a little schooling on this.

Thank you for your patience.

Moi j'aime les petites chattes...

The future is here, and it's not going to let you go back in time after all.

Also we will still have to wait even longer to go to Mars. The future fucking sucks.

Fuck. I gotta see that. That looks like some Bob Hoskins and Malcolm MacDowell if I'm not mistaken, and the Raiders are, well, that's a Mad Max ripoff before it's any sort of FO3 ripoff because it came first back in the day. The classic arena thing, warpaint and leather armour, all that goes back to Road Warrior days, before Wasteland.

But I gotta ask - why is there always a fucking zombie outbreak theme? Isn't that getting old? There are so many other ways that an entire population could be quarantined or otherwise segregated: class apartheid, civil war, resources, concentration camps, or rebel factions for instance. What do I have to do, write new premises for Doomsday situations?

Truth:

I have on occasion mixed without headphones, usually because of a missing adaptor or because the monitor was right in my face. In some cases it's because I'm running into a sytem that doesn't have a jack at all, which is of course a bit gay, or because the mixer is too far away, which is just lousy setup work.

I have also from time to time not had any MIDI shit working at all and faked it while trying desperately to do the tweaks with a mouse (total MIDI and keyboard failure), but I still used the mixer strips like crazy.

I have however always mixed on the fly. It's more fun and it's guaranteed to lead to things that surprise even you. The adrenaline rush this causes is inevitably addictive and the crowd will go wild. They see you freaking out and are automatically engaged. And in breakcore this is the only way you can get away with fucked up tracks. You have to go with impulses. And I don't mean the kind that compel you to do lines off the mixing table instead of attending to the mix.

But this was all with a live PA rig set up. Sometimes there are either too many machines so you can't figure out what is still safe to tweak, sometimes it's because you have only a laptop and the software being used makes beatmatching too easy, but there's always something you can do. For vinyl, I can't figure out how you can divide attention and still mix well. You need to use your time wisely.

However if I ever got offered a good sum of cash for a gig I wouldn't cut corners. After all you want to make a name for yourself with integrity. Or at least I would think so.

Why don't you kids with your funny ideas just get yourselves sketchpads and all have a little get-together where you trade notes on the kind of bullshit you come up with while fucked out of your gourds? You can draw little fucking aliens and weird trippy shit with schizo words next to them, and eventually you'll be able to sell cards with this stuff on them (maybe sell) outside of your local metro station while drooling and begging for help wiping your asses? Better yet, why not just have a separate section of the board for idiotic sketchy posts?

Hey man. If the guy just wants the bottle of ketalean to put his 2 e's and one speed in, I guess it might be ok?

They're not even anagrams, they're entirely bad double-entendres. There are books about "contrepeteries", things like "Manon, t'es sensuelle! Samson, t'es manuelle!" etc. that are interesting and often challenging word games, for ADULTS. There are also Mensa word games out there that are really outstanding, but I really doubt you're Mensa material. Hell, neither am I, so it's no use crying over spilled milk.

To try to turn phrases into something they barely sound like indicates a slight tendency towards aural hallucinations on ketamine. I'm speaking from experience.

But uh. To qualify your stupidity with this:



You severely need therapy if this is your world view. If not, unsuccessful trolling.

The way that you are expressing yourself is not the way that the members of this forum choose to express themselves and we consider our way of expressing ourselves the norm on this board. There was no quality judgment placed upon our ideas versus yours but you are welcome to your opinions and interpretations. However, yes, your posts were met with ill favour for lacking any real intelligence or insight, and definitely scored low on novelty of information.

In your manner of saying it, ef your knot cape abel two ecks-press yer shelf an ae whey dat whee kin con pretend, thin done bot her.

You guys are still talking about this loser? Can you make this a private thread so I don't have to troll you anymore? I don't even feel like dissing anymore because I only have two palms and one face.

1.Talk to Petra about silkscreening.

2.????

3.Profit!

By the way, I couldn't help but think of these guys when you mentioned beaver.

Talk to Scott, maybe he can laugh at you when you ask.

Veganism is bad for your health. You're going to wind up being some skinny dude who listens to Tiesto.

And no, honey is not considered vegan because it involves stealing from bees (pfffftttt hahahahah).

Hi sir, I hear you're looking for illicit substances on a public forum. Have a seat.

You mean Pilibino.

PUMPERS LIKE TO PUMP! PUMPERS NEED TO PUMP PUMP PUMP!