Funny Shit
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 12:33pm |
This is something I've done on a few message boards that are now ca-ca. This is a thread for all funny jokes and stuff to make people laugh while they sit at school hitting refresh waiting for the monotonous teacher to SHUT THE HELL UP!
On with the dog and pony show... ******** Q: What goes click, click, click... is this it? click, click, click... is this it? A: Stevie Wonder doing the Rubick's cube ------------------------------------------- A lady goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pains. The doctor runs a bunch of tests on her, then sits by her side with a smile on his face. "I hope you don't mind changing diapers!" he says. "Ooh," she replies, "am I going to have a baby?!" "No," the doctor says, "you have bowel cancer." |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 12:49pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 1:04pm |
A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his
deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window. Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9 year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the pickup on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?" Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey." The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says......"Sure had a big dick didn't it?" |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Unknown User replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 1:04pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» tuesmondieu replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 1:06pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» moondancer replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 1:31pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 1:41pm |
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about." |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 2:00pm |
Un petit garçon de 5 ans et sa mère vont au McDonald.
Le petit garçon regarde la caissière et dit: "Suce ma quéquette ma grosse ostie" La caissière embarrassée regarde la mère du petit garçon. Le petit garçon recommence: "Suce ma quéquette ma grosse ostie". Cette fois la mère du petit garçon intervient: "Enlève ton suçon de ta bouche quand tu parles". Le petit garçon dit: "Six McCroquettes pis un gros Pepsi |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 2:10pm |
Bill Maher should never have been cut from TV.
: "Politically Incorrect" means not political, not like a politician. And to give you an idea how unlike a politician I am, I don't even have a wife to cheat on. [ Laughter ] So when people say, "Why don't you run for office?" or "Why'd you get fired?" -- Folks, let me sum it up for you. I think religion is bad and drugs are good. I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting. I think stereotypes are true, abstinence is a perversion, Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's, and there is nothing sexy about being old or pregnant. I think September 11th changed nothing, and if I had known the onset of war would add 100 points to George Bush's IQ, I would have started one. I think pornography stops rape, I think AIDS ribbons are stupid and flag burning makes me feel patriotic. I think death is not the worse thing that can happen to you, I think people have too much self-esteem, and being drunk is funny. I think children are not innocent, God doesn't write books, and Jesus wasn't a Republican. I am for mad cow disease and against suing tobacco companies. I think girls hate each other, "No" doesn't always mean "No," you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring, and the Olympics are gay. We'll be on for another six weeks here on ABC... |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 2:24pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 2:40pm |
OMG!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol
I LOVE IT SOOOOO MUCH hihiihihi its my song of the day i cant stop listening to it ... megan we have a theme song :) |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» djAmalgam replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 3:59pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PaT_ replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 5:14pm |
damn i gotta agree with kafwin that song has toped the number one sng of the day.... to bad they dont mention da bwead though :( |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AngryChinchilla replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 6:38pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» El_Presidente replied on Fri Aug 23, 2002 @ 11:28pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Agent_Yogurt replied on Mon Aug 26, 2002 @ 10:10am |
yeah for da peend budder and jewwy
but we all know the sandwich isn't complete wif out da bwed. aka PAT |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Aug 28, 2002 @ 9:10pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Aug 28, 2002 @ 9:20pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Thu Aug 29, 2002 @ 12:11am |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Unknown User replied on Sun Sep 1, 2002 @ 6:02am |
what's funnier than a pile of dead babies???
the live baby in the bottom eating his way out to the top |
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