Polyamoury
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nathan replied on Sun Jan 30, 2011 @ 10:31pm |
 Coolness: 167265 | i prefer much love to many love ...
so, you're not talking about having a boyfriend and fucking other people once in a while, you're talking about 'loving' and perhaps dating multiple people at once. i see a slippery slope on the horizon ... |
| I'm feeling you up right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 12:01am |
 Coolness: 510280 | it's ok to fuck around but settling down is inevitable and really you need it for your kids...
what happens if you find a new new person and drop the others... then basically you're back to square one in nature it's 'normal' for men to have many women in order to better spread the better genes but I think this goes against too many human morals... let's face it, although survival of the 'fittest' is still in effect, 'fittest' doesn't mean the same thing anymore. |
| I'm feeling psyfun right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» KORHAL replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 12:14am |
 Coolness: 559270 | Originally Posted By THE_PINK_POPO
i guess people should just live the way they want... if thats what makes them happy... well good for them...maybe i just dont like the fact that some people are sometime dragged into it for somebody elses reasons or beliefs. personally, i think that you shouldnt be able to share the one you love...dont really understand it.. Originally Posted By slugbait
Cheers. Cheers indeed. |
| I'm feeling black magik peace right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AYkiN0XiA replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:14am |
 Coolness: 167295 | Originally Posted By ALIENZED
it's ok to fuck around but settling down is inevitable and really you need it for your kids... i heard about people taking polyamoury to another level, people living as open couples, openly to their family life and kids... i've heard about poly-fidel couples of four people (meaning they are bacically a 4-person couple, not like couple exchange but really an all-way 4 people relationship with all the kinds of sex it may involve...) i think it interesting :) there most probably is a way to live like this and still create a sane climate for kids to grow up into. at this point it mostly depend on the maturity of the adults involved... but it can't me more fucked up than two divorced parents that take each other to court... :P Originally Posted By ALIENZED
what happens if you find a new new person and drop the others... then basically you're back to square one there is something tricky about what people call falling in love... the whole NRE, or new relationship energy... like a glow. you must be wary of that if you want to attempt polyamoury, as a new relationship will always seem so much better than the previous or existing one... just because you see all the good sides of the other person, but you not seen the extent of their darker side yet... that's what seduction is a lot about, shining and showing up the good stuff... but with time we learn, everyone has a dark side, everyone has stuff that are dealing with. so finding a new person and dropping the others is a move that is not really wise in terms of seeking polyamoury. it's more called... i don't know... lover-hopping? there will always be a new person on the horizon that looks more shiny that what you already know... until you get to know them better. there is nothing like the depth of a love where you know someone, you know their 'less fun' side... and you still love them and accept them. Originally Posted By ALIENZED
in nature it's 'normal' for men to have many women in order to better spread the better genes but I think this goes against too many human morals... possibly also normal for a female to have many male partners... in natural settings, with the natural lights, women are really sentitive to the moon cycle, and they get in sync with it because the pineal gland percieves the changes in light. (see the book DMT, the spirit molecule) it is made like this so that one single man could not fertilize all the women in a tribe, because they all get fertile at the same time, and that lasts about two or three days... and i heard something about women being able to fuck endlessly during that time of month... and full moon cults, fertility goddess rituals, tribal orgies... actually there are words for this: polygyny = one man, many women (like a harem) [ en.wikipedia.org ] polyandry = one woman, many men (like an inverted harem) [ en.wikipedia.org ] |
| I'm feeling the snow <3 right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:22am |
| Coolness: 510280 | i guess in the end, i'm jalouse, so I'm biased |
| I'm feeling psyfun right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 2:47am |
 Coolness: 145920 | free love is not free... |
| I'm feeling surly right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Daf replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 10:57am |
 Coolness: 186075 | im with the same guy since im 19 years old, i pretty much consider him my first real love (had other bf but nothing like this), and even if sometimes i wake up wondering if im not wasting my youth from having a serious relationship so early,
i just can't help myself believing in true romance Everybody is different, the most important thing is to accept yourself like you are, and to be true with the people around you |
| I'm feeling kiss me, im shitface right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» raisinlove replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 12:22pm |
 Coolness: 63670 | Originally Posted By DAF
im with the same guy since im 19 years old, i pretty much consider him my first real love (had other bf but nothing like this), and even if sometimes i wake up wondering if im not wasting my youth from having a serious relationship so early, i just can't help myself believing in true romance Everybody is different, the most important thing is to accept yourself like you are, and to be true with the people around you Beautiful, and you're not the only one who believes this, so there's something for everyone. |
| I'm feeling does husk make gaggles? right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» prrr replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 12:38pm |
 Coolness: 44365 | It doesn't mean that you're having sex with many, though it could be. You can have sex with as many or as few people as you like. The point of it (for me) is not closing the door to potential very special connections and not restricting my partner because it makes no sense to me and I don't know what jealousy feels like. If my partner could benefit from an emotional or sexual connection with someone else too then I'd encourage it for their good.
My first open relationship bf was encouraging about it,. As I don't often find someone I want to be intimate with, when I finally did he was really happy for me. I thought it was sweet and I was REALLY impressed by him for it. Being territorial is often mistaken for being protective. I'm protective of my partners too but not possessive. I wouldn't protect them for ME, Though if someone else wanted to have sex with a lot of people either at the same time (open/poly) or in a row (monogamous) then I'm not going to judge them badly for it as long as they're being safe about it and not putting the rest of us at risk. I agree sex with the same person gets better over time, that's what I've experiences in longterm relationships. But that doesn't have anything at all to do with polyamory and open relationships. You can have a long term serious open relationship with someone for a long time, or be serious with or being intimate with the same few people for a long time. Polyamory doesn't necessarily mean that you're having sex with everyone, not that there's anything wrong with that either. Everyone is different. As long as they take care with each others' feelings and try to keep sane about their own feelings, it's all good! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Daf replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 12:57pm |
| Coolness: 186075 | Originally Posted By RAISINLOVE
Beautiful, and you're not the only one who believes this, so there's something for everyone. :), i always felt like a freak for being like this, always good to read that im not the only one in the Freak Show :P |
| I'm feeling kiss me, im shitface right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» prrr replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:18pm |
| Coolness: 44365 | There's a difference between posessive and protective. I could be protecting them for myself, or protecting them for *them*. If I love someone I want what's good for them.
Poly doesn't mean sex with tons of different people necessarily. Some non-mono people have less sex partners than mono people. Some have it with more. Some have casual sex, some don't. I like to get to know someone for a while before having sex with them, but some monogamous people like to have sex on the fist date. To each their own, everyone is different. Sex with the same person gets better over time, but that doesn't have anything at all to do with monogamy and non-monogamy. You can have a longterm non-monogamous thing. Many if not most men cheat (I know women do too but it's mostly men) but openly, they have the luxury of benefitting from multiple partners without cheating and breaking the bond of trust with their primary partner(s). Jimi Hendrix and Loreena McKennit both give me something completely different from each other with their music. But they're both perfect to me in their own ways. I'm not going to only listen to one of them and then feel guilty when I feel like experiencing the other too. What if music artists asked that you ONLY listen to them and nobody else? Wouldn't that be unreasonable? If I never listened to anyone else but Hendrix, even if it's my favorite music ever, I'd be missing out. I don't *need* to listen to anything else, but it would be good for me and I'd enjoy Hendrix even more the next time I listened to him. Even if you love your partner and want to be with them for the rest of your life, after 1, 5, 10 years it could be good for both partners and their relationship to put some other music into the mix, with each others' knowledge, instead of keeping each other as posessions and cheating on each other or letting go of other great intimate connections. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:28pm |
 Coolness: 159490 | Originally Posted By LYLA
Many if not most men cheat (I know women do too but it's mostly men) Oooh, I liked your opinion on the matter (even though I don't necessarily agree), but THAT's a blatant generalization if I ever heard one. Carry on. |
| I'm feeling fully circled right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» prrr replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:32pm |
| Coolness: 44365 | I'm not anti-men at all. Just stating a fact. The sex industry wouldn't cater almost exclusively to men, many/most of who are doing it without their partners' permissions, if it wasn't.
I did say MANY. Not all. I was not over-generalizing. Are you saying that many men DON'T cheat? Either women are better at hiding it, or men cheat more than women. It would make sense biologically too, wouldn't it? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Daf replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:33pm |
| Coolness: 186075 | i don't agree
i think i know as many man and woman that cheat what surprise me the most, is that woman usually wait after the wedding to start fooling around |
| I'm feeling kiss me, im shitface right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» prrr replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:41pm |
| Coolness: 44365 | Marriage is traditionally an ownership-of-women type thing (even if it's more equal today, in this country). So shoot me for being the bearer of bad news, lol. But women trying to control their men, who don't want to be monogamous, it backfires because many men are NOT going to only be with them (though SOME will be honestly monogamous for sure, don't misread what I'm saying). They just won't know about it but it still happens.
You're fooling yourselves if you don't think that men cheat more than women or that men don't seek sex more than women. Some women are really into sex, yes. Some women are dishonest too, and some women cheat. But men are, since the dawn of our species, more desiring to spread their seed to as many women as possible. I never said women don't cheat, of course they do but they do it less. They're more easy to manipulate into thinking they're part of a monogamous relationship. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» databoy replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:42pm |
 Coolness: 106835 | Originally Posted By DAF
:), i always felt like a freak for being like this, always good to read that im not the only one in the Freak Show :P I thought romantic love was the most accepted and promoted type of union, the norm. |
| I'm feeling impervia right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» prrr replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:44pm |
| Coolness: 44365 | I don't hate men, I love them, that's why I want them to be free :P It should be equal though and I should be free too.
You can have romantic love in an open relationship, why not? I know open couples who are super romantic! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Holly_Golightly replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:51pm |
 Coolness: 159455 | Originally Posted By LYLA
Many if not most men cheat (I know women do too but it's mostly men) first off statistically it is not true that most men cheat.. not even half of them do.. around 28% of the married male population cheat. it's like when someone tells me "everybody does illegal drugs" well actually only 10% of the population engage in these behaviors. Jimi Hendrix and Loreena McKennit both give me something completely different from each other with their music. But they're both perfect to me in their own ways. I'm not going to only listen to one of them and then feel guilty when I feel like experiencing the other too. What if music artists asked that you ONLY listen to them and nobody else? Wouldn't that be unreasonable?
If I never listened to anyone else but Hendrix, even if it's my favorite music ever, I'd be missing out. I don't *need* to listen to anything else, but it would be good for me and I'd enjoy Hendrix even more the next time I listened to him. Even if you love your partner and want to be with them for the rest of your life, after 1, 5, 10 years it could be good for both partners and their relationship to put some other music into the mix, with each others' knowledge, instead of keeping each other as posessions and cheating on each other or letting go of other great intimate connections. sorry but you comparing listening rock music to commitment/marriage is very retarded. sounds as mature as a bad teenager year crisis. |
| I'm feeling hitched right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Daf replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:51pm |
| Coolness: 186075 | im sorry to say, but men when they get older need less sex than woman
also... It's not because you are in a monogamous relationship that you seek control You have strong and extreme opinions on the matter, something i have learn in life is that, being extreme never brought anything good, it makes us forget about the grey zones Update » Daf wrote on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 1:52pm databoy, you would be surprise, even more in highschool
i've been consider a lesbian, because i was waiting for the right ones :P |
| I'm feeling kiss me, im shitface right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Masa replied on Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 2:00pm |
| Coolness: 159490 | Originally Posted By LYLA
I did say MANY. Not all. I was not over-generalizing. Are you saying that many men DON'T cheat? Either women are better at hiding it, or men cheat more than women. It would make sense biologically too, wouldn't it? "Many if not most" ;) I also know at least as many women that cheat than men. Heh. I cheated once. Not even physically but emotionally. My first long-term relationship. She ended up cheating on me (physically) for revenge. Knew about it, but she fessed up to it recently, because she herself cheated on (physically and emotionally) on her boyfriend of 7 years, and came to me for advice because she felt bad about it. It's all about honesty and reciprocity, IMHO. But if I (and my partner) decide to be monogamous because we fulfill each other's needs, I won't start looking to fulfill my needs elsewhere. If at any time either partner's needs aren't fulfilled, he/she needs to let the other know, else it's not being fair. IMHO. Originally Posted By LYLA
But men are, since the dawn of our species, more desiring to spread their seed to as many women as possible. I never said women don't cheat, of course they do but they do it less. They're more easy to manipulate into thinking they're part of a monogamous relationship. Again, blatant generalization. Women look for the best mate too, purveyor and genes and all that crap. And they're as prone to looking for that better mate as any man. |
| I'm feeling fully circled right now.. | |
Polyamoury
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