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Fuck My Life
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 7:57pm |
Holy shit this site is awesome!
[ www.fmylife.com ] "Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML" "Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML" "Today, I took a picture for my photography course of a random adorable couple kissing in the snow. Later, upon closer inspection, I realized that the guy was my boyfriend. FML" "Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML" "Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML" "Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML" "Today, I found out my crush has a colostomy bag because she has no anus. FML" "Today, I went on a first date with an Egyptian/Cuban sorority girl. I asked her what language she was brought up speaking. She said that her mom spoke to her in Spanish, but that she only ever replied in English. I said, "Oh, kinda like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML this site is so great! | |
I'm feeling your norks right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 8:56pm |
Why were you googling "Fuck my life" anyways? | |
I'm feeling like the good guy right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 9:20pm |
sombody has to do it, how else could we find gems like these. | |
I'm feeling surly right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» flo replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 9:21pm |
I'm feeling phd powa !!! right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Corrupter replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 9:21pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» clown replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 10:43pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» giorgio_moisi replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 10:58pm |
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
The best so far |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Gamos replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 11:39pm |
Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know | |
I'm feeling apathetic right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 11:40pm |
Originally Posted By CLOWN
maybe he wanted some "fuck" in his life !! :P wouldn't be surprised ;) | |
I'm feeling like the good guy right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Gamos replied on Fri Feb 6, 2009 @ 11:44pm |
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML Today, I was woken out of my drunken state by a guy trying to stick his penis in my mouth. I'm a guy. FML | |
I'm feeling apathetic right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Trey replied on Sat Feb 7, 2009 @ 3:26am |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» a.POSFORD replied on Sat Feb 7, 2009 @ 8:57am |
"Today, I found out my crush has a colostomy bag because she has no anus. FML" damn. | |
I'm feeling shpongled right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DrGonzo replied on Mon Feb 9, 2009 @ 1:57pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Mon Feb 9, 2009 @ 2:22pm |
more!!!
"Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML" "Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML" | |
I'm feeling will dj for money right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Orchid replied on Mon Feb 9, 2009 @ 8:22pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini replied on Mon Feb 9, 2009 @ 10:18pm |
Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML | |
I'm feeling surly right now.. |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» a.POSFORD replied on Mon Feb 9, 2009 @ 10:19pm |
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Trey replied on Tue Feb 10, 2009 @ 3:07pm |
Some of them are too good to be true.
But some people just have the worst luck in the world. |
Fuck My Life
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