Chaque fois que j'entends la pluie qui tombe
Je pense que le ciel pleure
Ceux que j'ai fait pleurer
J'espère que mes erreurs
N'ont pas fait trop de mal
Et j'aimerais que mon coeur soit intersidéral
- jean leloup
I'm going to nominate a post of mine for quote of the day...
someone on Dogs on Acid posted this video:
My reply to it has pretty much everyone saying it's the post of the week/month
He's fucking spot-on, too.. though imo he sounds like he got off light..
I've got chrons, and when I went for a colonoscopy, they gave me this stuff called Colyte.. they give you a 4L plastic jug with some powder in it, and you have to fill it with water and stick it in the fridge for a few hours.. then when the time comes, you have to drink the whole thing over the course of four hours, 1L per hour.
I figured the same thing as this guy, "Whatever, it's a laxative, I've had to take some before, I'll just drink my 1L/hour and go to the bathroom when I need to."
What they don't tell you is that as soon as it starts working, it starts working overtime! His NASA analogy was right; not because of the chemicals and how it's not natural products, but because it feels like you're about to launch into orbit; suddenly, your bathroom transforms into Cape Canaveral and your toilet is the launching pad.
I didn't get any respite from the constant stream that was jetting out like a failed science-fair volcano. I had to get my roommate to bring me the jug with the rest of the stuff along with my PSP, because I couldn't get off the toilet for the 20 seconds it would take to go to the kitchen, open the fridge, grab the jug and get back to the bathroom. Hours later he even had to bring me the charger for my PSP because the battery was dying!
That Colyte stuff is just pure evil. It's not just man-made chemicals, but it's made with all the hate and disdain for mankind that Satan possesses. No good and loving god would ever let something like this be made, let alone administered to other human beings. Taking a 4 1/2 hour non-stop shit is just not natural. I know that the intestines/colon are really, really long, but I swear this stuff didn't just empty out my intestines and colon; it reached into the future and made me shit food I hadn't eaten yet. There really can't be any possible scientific explanation for how much that stuff managed to dislodge and send shooting out of my asshole at 200mph.
By the end of it all it was almost like being on a bad-trip, I was just thinking to myself "Is this over? Is this it? Am I going to die here? Will this ever stop? Will I ever have a life outside of a bathroom from this point forward? Dear god why won't this stop? What have I ever done to deserve this?".. I mean honest-to-god I'm-about-to-break-down-crying-and-have-a-nervous-breakdown-if-my-asshole-doesn't-stop-squirting... and that was only about two hours into it. The whole experience damaged my psyche more than eating 5 overflowing handfulls of shrooms while tripping on MDA.
It's some scary shit!
That Colyte stuff is just pure evil. It's not just man-made chemicals, but it's made with all the hate and disdain for mankind that Satan possesses. No good and loving god would ever let something like this be made, let alone administered to other human beings. Taking a 4 1/2 hour non-stop shit is just not natural. I know that the intestines/colon are really, really long, but I swear this stuff didn't just empty out my intestines and colon; it reached into the future and made me shit food I hadn't eaten yet. There really can't be any possible scientific explanation for how much that stuff managed to dislodge and send shooting out of my asshole at 200mph.
By the end of it all it was almost like being on a bad-trip, I was just thinking to myself "Is this over? Is this it? Am I going to die here? Will this ever stop? Will I ever have a life outside of a bathroom from this point forward? Dear god why won't this stop? What have I ever done to deserve this?".. I mean honest-to-god I'm-about-to-break-down-crying-and-have-a-nervous-breakdown-if-my-asshole-doesn't-stop-squirting... and that was only about two hours into it. The whole experience damaged my psyche more than eating 5 overflowing handfulls of shrooms while tripping on MDA.
Originally Posted By O_SKOO_BIGWHEELA
Pointe St charles, 5 a 6 am environ, il sentour de bubble wrap et demande a tout les gens qui passe si il pette leurs bulles....reaction des gens!!
Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. - Tyler Durden
From the book:
"Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned" Tyler Durden - Fight Club.
"Dear Steve,
You don't want people looking at vaginas on the tablet you named after a feminine hygiene product? Something smells fishy.
Sincerely,
Dudes who like porn
P.S. If you agree that porn is great, you should send your favorite vids to sjobs@apple.com"
"Oh Mickey youre so pretty, dont you understand that you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand ..... - Oh Mickey youre so fine, youre so fine you blow my mind hey Mickey! hey Mickey!-"
- Toni Basil
I'm feeling this is a place of shreaks! o_o right now..
