 Coolness: 686210
| I just realised I posted this on facebook, but not in this thread..
It's sometime around the 1950s, even though everything looks like it does today and there are cell phones and modern cars and stuff. No one knows why yet, but the dead have started coming back to life.
I'm in the west island at the time, and for some reason I think I'm in the army, and there's an army base in the parking lot of the corner of Pierrefond and Des Source (the big parking lot of that L-shaped mall thing, behind the KFC)
The army decides that instead of fighting, that we should just bail and survive, so we load up tanks and jeeps with food and gear and head up north to where there's nothing but woods and very few people to turn into zombies.
Up north, in this case, turns out to be laval, which is now nothing but snow and forests, even though it's summer.
The guys in charge of the army have goone pretty crazy at this point, and everyone that they see on their way they shoot and kill so that they don't have to help anyone and don't have anyone trying to eat their food.
After a while, we're all in the woods, looking for small towns to turn into a giant living area. We find one, fence it off, set up generators for power, and suddenly discover that all the food we had was miss-labled and was actually rotten and inedible, so we have to go out to get more or we'll starve after only our first few nights.
So me and a few others get a jeep (what started off as a convoy of hundreds of soldiers got whittled down to about 20 on the way from zombies killing them or people shooting back), and go out looking for other small towns that might have a grocery store to raid for food.
So we find a grocery store, but there's a lineup of cars and jeeps to get into it, and something looks strange; the people in the cars are all dressed in red, and their skin is a funny colour.
It turns out they're communist zombies.
So they get out of their cars and start chasing after us, and we drive the jeep down a path in the woods 'cause their cars had totally blocked the roads around us. The jeep crashes near an underground tunnel, so we get out and run to it to get away from them, figguring that they'll be too slow to follow us and, since we'll be in a tunnel, there won't be anywhere for zombies to come and surprise us while we're running.
Bad move, though. It turns out that the zombies are slow in the light, but when it's dark, their powers increase and they turn into fast zombies.
So they chase us through the tunnel, and catch/kill the other 2 soldiers I was with just as I make it to the other end and close the gate, keeping them from getting to me.
So I'm out of the tunnel, and the other end of the tunnel it turns out is near one of the bridges off the island (and into the wilds of up north/laval) that our group of army guys had stayed at to deffend, so that no one could get off the island and come hound us for food and protection. Their orders are to shoot every non-soldier on sight.
So I get to them on the middle of the bridge, and following our orders, set up a spot and start killing everyone we see.
While they're all concentrating on looking at the road/bridge, I decide to look over at the water, and I see someone swimming. I take my gun and look through the scope to aim and kill the person, but it turns out to be Mel (Drixel, one of the few people I can think of that would survive a zombie holocaust)
If the army guys see her, they'll shoot and kill her, so while they're all focused on the road, I jump over the side of the bridge and into the water with a couple of air tanks and masks to breathe under water, but I've got to leave my gun behind, because they have some sort of tracing chip in them and the army guys will be able to find me if I keep it on me. I give one of the air tanks to Mel, and then we swim as far from the bridge as we can so that they won't kill us.
We get out of the water, and it seems we swam up a stream and into a forest, so we go looking for somewhere to take shelter, because it's getting dark and the zombies get faster and more dangerous.
On our searching for shelter, we find what looks like a nest, full of large eggs, and for some reason, I know that they're the cause of the zombie outbreak. The nest/eggs are from an alien that got brought back durring the last space mission to mars, but escaped from a lab. Even though the eggs are the size of a football, the creatures inside them are neon-green scorpion-looking things, who's poison kills people and brings them back from the dead. But once they've been stung, the poison transforms all of the liquid in their body into the poison, as well as any glands that produce liquids (sweat, tears, saliva) now produce the poison instead.
So, we burn the nest of eggs and get on our way to finding shelter; it's almost night now, and we can hear zombies in the forest around us getting closer.
We find a house that's closed up and doesn't look like anyone is home. Rather than break a window, I pick the lock so that we can get in quietly, and so that there are windows to break incase someone wants to come in, so it'll make noise and we'll hear them and be ready.
We go to the kitchen and eat, 'cause we're totally exhausted, and start eating and getting ready to fortify the place to stay in. Then, we hear a noise coming from the living room area. It turns out that there WAS someone living here; a fat, blind and deaf woman in a neon pink and blue housecoat, that's turned into a zombie and is stumbling blindly around.
We figgure that we need to kill her and get her out of the house so that the zombie poison can't touch us, so we close the kitchen door so she doesn't wander over while we're looking for a weapon and coming up with an idea on how to get rid of her.
So as we're looking for weapons, I remember I've got a retractable baton in my pocket, and take that out, and Mel finds a rolling pin that's the size of a baseball bat, and we get ready to open the door and kill the zombie, when we realise that we hear her walking and bumping onto the door.
So we back up a little, and I open the door and back up quickly, and the zombie is no longer a fat woman, it's Marilyn Manson, but he's deaf and blind so he doesn't see or hear us.
He starts stumbling around the kitchen and knocking stuff over while we figgure out what to do with him (for some reason, our plan of "knock it on the head and drag it outside" only worked for fat women) when we decide that, surprise surprise, we should knock him on the head and drag him outside.
So I'm gonna go first. He's standing by the counter, and he's staring at the wall, and I go and WHACK, one hit to his head. He turns around, totally un-phased, and seems to stare right at me, and starts singing If I Was Your Vampire.
Then, after a few seconds, he turns into what I can only describe as a giant juice-box about 2' high sitting on the counter, and the juice box is now singing at us. I wack the juice box once and it starts screaming at us to leave it alone. Figguring that this is just some clever plot by the zombies for us to let our guard down, I take the juice bottle and empty it in the kitchen sink while it screams at me to stop that because I'm killing it, and all it wants to do is sing.
So now, we've taken care of the zombie, we eat some food that's in the fridge, and open up the cupboards to see what else there is, food-wise, for us to survive with.
It turns out that all of the cupboards are stuffed full of Marilyn Manson t-shirt designs that were never aproved for distribution, and that the only food there was available in the house was in the fridge, which we pigged out and ate.
And then, I woke up. |
